WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
