So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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