I accidentally had phone sex last night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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