It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
