i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize