do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
