why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
