Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
