Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just blew my weed a kiss
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
