no you cant smoke seaweed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
