this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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