mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
"it" just moved
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
