none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
