I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
