is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
