I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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