how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
