I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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