Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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