shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
