Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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