the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
