the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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