girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
