She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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