dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize