I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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