That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
