tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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