In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
