so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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