Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize