I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
