she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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