Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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