i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize