I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
