I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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