We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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