my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
