Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
