You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
