TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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