yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
