I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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