Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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