I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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