people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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