what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
