I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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