i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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