I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
