Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize