if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
