Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
