In the future we'll all be gay
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
