summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
