He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
