Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
