I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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