i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
